photo credit: Beau B

What happens when your second child outshines the first? How do you respond when the younger one breezes past the older?

A grandfather recently told me about his two grandchildren. He was amazed at what the younger child could do at a much earlier age than the older one. He didn’t seem to attribute as much to the affect of having a sibling to learn from as he did to the innate ability of the second compared to the first.

I wonder if this is the topic of many conversations in the home and how many of these conversations have been overheard by the children. 

Have you had a similar situation, or have you seen it before in other families? Were you in that situation yourself as a child?

We have to be careful that children don’t assume roles of “I’m not as smart as my brother,” or “I can’t do anything as well as my sister.”

• Look for a Discuss and Do activity book coming soon to Bingnote.com.  It will help engage your children in meaningful conversation along with fun activities. It supports the ‘Builder-Uppers’ presented in Arlene Richards‘ book, That’s Bingzy!.
• It isn’t enough to ask the right questions and to get the child to talk, the most important thing is to really listen to what is being said.  
• Take it seriously when you hear complaints of unfair treatment, or hurt feelings.  Even if it is a misconception on the child’s part, it needs to be addressed. 
•  Don’t be defensive, listen and respond thoughtfully. 
•  Keep the lines of communication open.

The Schoolmarm