Bullies can come in disguised forms. I remember Tina's experience.

One of my students, Tina, complained of her arm hurting. When I asked what had happened, the ten year old confided about regular hittings she received by her older female cousin. The cousin had convinced Tina that to be accepted by her select group of older friends she had to receive hard hits on the arm to show she ‘could take it.’

I had a difficult time convincing Tina that this was abuse and not a sign of friendship on any level. She was unhappy with me for insisting we inform her mother of this manipulative bully, her cousin.

Years later, I wonder about Tina. Did she become a battered girlfriend or wife? Did someone convince her that it was love that made him so angry that he hit her? What physical or mental abuse has she been willing to endure to be accepted by her so called friends?

I pray she learned the lesson we desperately tried to teach her when she was just a child, that no one has the right to hurt her. No one has a right to violate her boundaries. Tina’s mother was genuinely shocked at what she learned and vowed to take care of the matter immediately.

Talk to your children while they are young and make sure they are not gullible to the tactics of bullies. Be aware of any marks or unexplained bruises. It is a lesson from Tina.

We must intervene if a bully is in sight of our kids.

The Schoolmarm

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