credit:LitandmoreA young mother recently posed the question whether she should pursue her preschool daughter's complaint of being bullied by a boy in her class.

Even though the child was deeply troubled by the daily dose of intimidation, she begged her mother not to tell the teacher. The mother fears if she talks to the teacher that she will lose the trust of her daughter.

Based on years of working with children I would tell the mother that she definitely needs to talk to the adult in charge. While reassuring the child that things will get better, not worse, if the incident is reported, the parent must take the initiative and contact the teacher by phone or email. Report what your child has told you in as much detail as you know.

Once the teacher is alerted, he/she should start watching for signs of the behaviors stated. Usually a bully picks on more than one person, although it may be subtle, underhanded, devious, or sometimes blatant. By recognizing the problem, the teacher should confer with the parents to report the actions taken to correct it.

If the problem continues, then the parent should insist on a four-way conference with the administrator, teacher, and the other child's parent.

The parent of the bully may not believe it at first, or take it seriously, so anecdotal records should be presented by the teacher and/or parent. A strict policy of no-bullying should be enforced by the school administrator.

If your child is accused of being the bully, take it seriously, and get help before the situation escalates. Whether your child is the bully or the victim, keep the lines of communication open and seek answers.

Taking bullying very seriously,

The Schoolmarm